On Sickness and Injury..

I had never thought of sickness before until recently as a form of spiritual warfare. But upon Joseph’s recent seizure (during VBS week in July), it came to me that any act of the body defending itself is an act of offense against the body and therefore an attack on the body. And as I had made the point earlier in a blog post that the mortal nature is intrinsic to the spiritual nature which together make up our whole being, any physical attack on the body is also a spiritual attack on the body and soul.

Most people view sickness and injury as just an ordinary part of our lives but if you look theologically you will see that sickness and injury are nothing short of spiritual warfare since the Angel of Darkness loves our sorrow and anguish. He loves suffering because he knows what it is—-it is a result of sin and death that entered this world from our first parents, from the first Fall, the pit of pride, the greatest vice that separates us from God and His eternal love.

Sickness and injury is an attempt to destroy the body which in itself is a machine. But this machine is uniquely intertwined with the spirit and the soul which give it life eternally in spite of the mortal nature. The two natures-spirit and mortal—are our identity as children of God and God made everything good. The body, made in His image, by the glorious Incarnation which shows us just how good it is, is also something most hated by our Enemy. Because all sickness and injury are a result of sin and death—sickness and injury are outward signs of our fallen nature. These signs glorify the Enemy. They make him feel triumphant even for just a moment.

This is also why redemptive suffering flips the power of the Enemy unto Jesus-because when we crucify sickness and injury to the holy Cross, we reverse the glory unto God. How important then it is to sings song of praise and worship when we are sick and injured because it drives the Enemy nuts! Therefore, immediately when you are attacked with sickness or injury, rejoice in the Lord aloud—verbally rejoice in the Lord—-let the Enemy hear you—-look up tot he heavens and glorify aloud. Make the enemy know where you stand.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

On being mortal Part 2...

Oftentimes I think people believe their prayer life a separate entity from their physical actions, that is, all things they participate in throughout their daily living. And yes, indeed we need to set aside time for a verbal prayer, but that is because of our mortal nature as I will explain which is intrinsic to our spiritual life.

Just as the angels have a mission, each one of them, in their nature being spirit, we have a mission in our mortal form. We are not unlike the angels that we have a mission, except we have two forms-mortal and spirit, thus we have each a mission that is physical and spiritual. The physical aspect of our mission is embedded in our mortal form.

We often do not see it that way but as separate because we view heavenly things as far off and not within our reach or not present here. But our Christian Faith teaches us that Jesus’ death and resurrection unites those things of heaven to those of earth. Thus through our Baptism, it follows that our body, or mortal form, has been anointed and thus it follows that so too then all our physical actions can be anointed when we unite them to the action of God’s grace through the divine life of the Holy Spirit alive in us.

Therefore, when united to the Holy Spirit, all our physical actions can be a prayer or glorified offering to our God not sperate from our prayer life but rather one with it as all our actions can be united to Divinity itself through our mortal nature.

Like the angels who have united all their spiritual actions to God as to glorify Him or else they perish, our mortal nature can also be wholly united to God’s glory, all one action really, and thus becomes our prayer life as well, a constant communion to the Holy Spirit by His grace working through us. This is what is meant by “mission”, whatever your vocation is, your mission is tied to your vocation, all the physical actions required of your daily living. And it is these things that can be one with your prayer life, because your mortal nature has been anointed through Baptism, your mortal nature which is one also with your spiritual life.

So then if all your actions are anointed, it follows that all these things give glory to God, but you must as St. Paul says cooperate with God’s grace since the anointing of these things comes from the Holy Spirit’s Life in us. Your mortal nature gives glory to God in this constant union with Hs Divine Life. Glory to God for our mortal nature! In Him, our mortality has redemptive properties, thanks be to God.

On prayer...

How do you pray? What do you say? What does it look like? How is it supposed to feel? Should I kneel? Should my hands be folded? Should there be a holy image or object present?

Good questions. So what? How do you know what prayer ought to look and sound like?

A soul united to God in prayer is totally enraptured and consumed into the Divine Presence of the Holy One, Whose attitude towards His little creature is sincerely enraptured and consumed in turn with her! God withholds NOTHING. God’s very nature cannot allow it. Therefore, to the one asking “What does prayer look like? What does prayer sound like?” I say, prayer holds nothing back. Anger, sorrow, self-pity, pain, joy, peace, delight…what other human emotion is there? Whatever it is you are feeling, say that. Whatever it is you are feeling, do that. Do you feel like kneeling? Do that. Do you feel like sitting? Do that. Do you feel like folding your hands? Do that. Do you feel like singing? Prostrating? Crying? Saying nothing? Do that. The Holy Spirit will direct you when you humble yourself in prayer. The Holy Spirit will tell you. It will not be a voice necessarily, although it might be. The body when uniting itself to the Spirit just knows. And the more you pray, the more you will know what the Lord needs from you in this world as far as your petitions and your prayers are concerned.

Let me tell you that I have heard a voice that commanded me to do what God wanted me to do in prayer. Two times. The first was during Mass while I was playing the communion hymn in 2017. My eyes were looking down at the keyboard as I was playing and singing. The youth choir was singing just next to me. And I heard, “Look up.” When I looked up, I saw a white wind enter through the side doors of the church directly ahead of me. The white wind was loud and sounded like a great wind storm. I thought to myself, “My papers are going to fly everywhere.” When the wind came to me, I felt a great wind storm envelop around me but my papers and hair did not fly all over. Instead I felt in the wind an ecstasy of love, peace and joy. I closed my eyes and I felt my piano bench teeter-totter slightly off the ground so I looked down to see if my feet were still touching the pedal and I could see my toes were so I wasn’t far off the ground and then the wind went right back out the door from which it came.

In 2018, I was washing dishes in my old apartment. Joey and my son were gone on an outing. I looked up from the dishes and saw the white wind come through my kitchen side glass doors and again, I heard a loud wind storm and felt it blowing but nothing moved. It blew over the counter to me and enveloped around me, love, peace, joy. Then I felt hands on my shoulders pushing me down. I thought in my head, “If I kneel and someone walks in they’re going to think I’m crazy.” And it was not a voice a heard, rather I saw in front of me but also in my mind the words, “OBEDIENCE.” I knelt down, and out of my mouth I shouted, “John Paul, pray for us!” Then the wind left me through the kitchen door from which it came. I had been praying to John Paul for two weeks everyday for GSCC. It was an affirmation.

The Holy Spirit told me what to do in prayer literally on both occasions, between “look up” and “obedience”, but this is not always the case so I tell you, just pray the way wish to express yourself to God and He will correct you if He wants so don’t worry. If He wants to tell you something, He will.

“Perfect submission, perfect delight…this is my story…” let that be yours.

Many people accuse Christians of knowing with certainty because of their belief in God. But those that accuse Christians of this themselves claim that we must be uncertain. How can we be certain we are uncertain? Most scientists agree the universe had a beginning and most scientists agree the universe has order and intelligent design. So where is this God they ask? Look at all the evil in the world, they say, how can a God you claim to be so good allow such evils? There is no God, they say, because we cannot see Him. And Christians know that we are the Mystical Body of Christ and therefore when people see us they are to see God. We are the face of God, we are the hands of God, we are the feet of God. But so many Christians are walking around today asking for healing before they can serve, “Lord heal me!” And this is their sickness: never serving because they feel inadequate until they know for certain they have been healed. They worry and they are anxious. But does the Face of God droop with worry? Are the hands of God idle? Are the feet of God complacent? No! The face of God is Light: the Light of truth, of Justice, of Righteousness, of Mercy, of Holiness. The hands of God create all things out of nothing. The feet of God are the good Father Who runs to the prodigal son. We who deny Jesus also deny the world His love and mercy and therefore we deny the world the God they are so uncertain about.

Do not be arrogant in your weakness. Who can know the mind of God? Humble yourself. Submit. Say, “Here I am, Lord, send me!” and do not worry how God will use you because with God all things are possible. God is in control.

On Living

I feel as though God has consumed me. And I am wholly His.

I am here by His grace, sustained by His very Body and Blood; His grace uplifts me, His grace undoes me and “my soul magnifies the Lord.” Luke 1:46. I listen and obey the Spirit of Truth, the Spirit of Charity, the Spirit of Justice, the Spirit of mercy, the Spirit of righteousness, the Spirit of Wisdom, the Spirit of holiness, because it is good and right to do so, because there is no other recourse.

A Messenger of Peace

It was summer of 2023. I had been in and out of the ER for what felt like heart attack symptoms for several weeks—heart racing, chest pain, jaw pain, black outs, arrhythmias…I wore a heart monitor even. I thought that maybe I was getting Lupus and it had effected my heart. I was about to go to Rochestor to seek more medical advice on what was going on. I could’t live anymore in this condition; it was agony, day after day, torment to live in a state of this kind of fragility. I was scared and baffled. What was going on?

One week was the absolute worse. I couldn’t sleep. I was being tortured-would I ever have a normal life again? It was a hot July night. I went to sleep alone to not disturb everyone being up all night. I prayed intensely, meditating on Psalm 23 and Psalm 18. Finally in my vulnerability, I gave over my soul to the Abba, ‘Father, I surrender my body over to You.” I prayed over my husband and children. I prayed as though I was going to leave this earth, raying over my family and blessings. Then I ended my prayer by asking the Abba for comfort, “Please send me comfort Father,” I prayed, begging the Abba to at least send me comfort. I felt like all of me was being tortured.

Well, somehow I had fallen asleep, which was very hard to do because my heart would wake me up, but this time I woke because I felt a presence very near to my bed and I woke to see who it was. When I opened my eyes, my light was still on and I saw on the right side of my bed up in the air about 5 feet off the ground was a glowing orb within another glowing orb. It was a white light, very bright, and from this light was emitting peace, a peace so intense. But it’s important to note it was different from the peace of the Holy Wind I had experienced before. It was just peace.

I sat up and reached for it but it moved away. I reached again, it moved again; the 3rd time I reached for it it went through my wall and was gone. It was then I realized the Lord had answered my prayer and sent me comfort as I had asked.

On the Glory Be

My favorite recited prayer is the Glory Be. There are no better words that a soul can utter beyond the words of this prayer-”Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit…” To exalt the Triune God. Because God is Holy. Each Person of the Trinity is distinct from the Other, Each deserving of praise, Each deserving our worship and adoration. This prayer mimics that of the angels who said “Holy, Holy, Holy…” Recite this prayer often. Make it a habit to recite it at morning and at night. Recite it intensely, bowing down for each Person.

On Trust

I feel like I have one foot in heaven and one foot on earth. That’s because Heaven is not far from here: It is not far from the soul who trusts completely in the Father’s wisdom; it is not far from the soul who loves the heart of Jesus, Mary and Joseph; it is not far from the soul who loves Holy Mother Church; it is not far from the soul who loves His Word and devours it all day like food; it is not far from the soul who prays unceasingly like St. Paul says, because it trusts in His mercy and hopes in His promises-

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.

 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
 Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
 Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

The Abba loves you, the Father loves you. I cry writing this because so few know this. It is has become a childish, almost immature saying and is used to legitimize unholy behavior and unholy attitudes towards one another. Culture’s theft of this phrase “God loves you” means “do as you wish” but this is so wrong! He is Almighty, Ancient of Days, Holy holy holy is He. No one knowing God would dare object to His majesty except to serve the ego and that is evil and so humility is saying this—I trust in You, Abba! I am totally yours! Submission to the holy, submission to His justice, submission to His wisdom, submission to His love, total love.

Do not be arrogant. Say this repeatedly, and even when you have wronged someone or God, say this, “I trust in You, Abba!” Even your shame, even your guilt, even your arrogance, God can remove all stains, God can remove all wickedness in you, God can remove your impurities. He cannot work in a soul however who does not ask Him to do this. He will purify you. And Justice demands this eventually. So work it out now while you have one foot on earth and one foot in heaven.

On Total Surrender

Why is total surrender necessary? Why does it matter? Why can’t we love holy lives, attend church, read the scriptures, pray…why does it matter whether we yield our wills completely, that we say over and over again and mean it over and over again, “TAKE MY WILL.” Is not simply living the Christian life good enough?

What is the will? The will is intrinsic to not only our mortal nature, but to our human dignity which is a characteristic of our souls. God in His goodness, being so good, respects the very thing that He implanted in each human being, human dignity, the very thing that is totally necessary to true inner peace, joy and charity, Christian authenticity, and is directly linked to who a person is as a child of God.

It is our free will that provides human dignity. We have human dignity as we are made in His image, that’s why it’s there. Unless man reviles it, everyone possesses it. Tis is also why people who feel they have lost their dignity feel despair and even leads them to suicide. The will is free and it is the will that either therefore protects or destroys human dignity.

This is why sexual sins and sexual abuse are actually a death to human dignity because human sexuality is absolutely one with our mortal nature and therefore our souls and any violation that is in opposition to God’s plan for human sexuality is a death jab to one’s human dignity. Once one’s human dignity is eroded or gone entirely, only God can restore it because God alone has given it to the human person.

And so the will is in charge of who we are as children of God: we can either be children of the Light or children of darkness. Only God knows the totality of what our souls need, what is lacking, only He can see what is to come in our lives, only He knows how we got to where we are, and where it is we are going. God cannot do anything without our consent. Otherwise this would violate our human dignity and corrupt us as children of God, and so He cannot do this because it would violate Himself since God is Light and we are from the Light and this is who we are.

So total consent=total surrender. And this allows God to work grace into our lives where we may not understand, where we may not even know we need it because of our pride which is tied to our wills. That is why it is difficult to surrender, it is a fight to relent, but total surrender=total freedom, which sounds contradictory. “How can handing myself over be anything but slavery? I am in control. “ No. Control is tension. Control is rigidity. Movement, flexibility-THAT IS FREEDOM-God Who is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, it is handing ourselves completely over to Him that we find peace and contentment in who we are, what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, where we’re going. This is freedom.

Total surrender, this is hard. It may take many trials, it may take much much pain. This is a fight between our will and God’s will. Pray. Do not merely say, “I trust in You.” But “I am Yours, tutus tutus.”

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On the Importance of a Church Community...

I pity the person who has no one to pray for for their soul.

The Church, however bleak it may be in terms of spiritual deprivation, is still the only place of refuge for the human soul, where despite human kind’s sinful nature, a person can always find there grace through the prayers and works of Her members, the Body of Christ. There the soul is saved through the Holy Mass and the other Sacraments, and deeply edified through the spiritual efforts of the priest and lay people.

This is why merely belonging to a Catholic church community is not only important, it is VITAL. A person’s soul depends on it and the life of one’s soul is the work of glorification to the Holy Trinity for it is through the soul that God’s life either indwells or cannot indwell.

The purification of the soul of course is not due to the work of man, that is the Church, but rather by merit of the death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, Who is the Head of the Church. But by the Holy Spirit, God allows man’s good deeds and prayers to benefit the soul’s spiritual needs.

When we gather at Holy Mass or any event at our local parish in which we are praying together, no matter how inadequate the local church’s members may be in terms of spiritual gifts or grace, God nonetheless works through them because He is good, He is sooo good that even in our moral weakness, He uses us.

Let God use you. Do not insist on your weakness, but insist on trusting Him for the Holy Spirit’s mission He has planned for your life. Do not hold back for when you do this, you not only deprive yourself, but the whole Church.

"Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence"-on being mortal

The mortal flesh—-it came to me a few days ago—I had the realization of the meaning and significance of our being mortal and how we fit in with the spiritual, the oneness of the mortal world and that of the supernatural world, the two realms, the two beings, two natures; both have eternal souls, but one is flesh and one is spirit only. Two natures, but BOTH are called to be in the oneness of God the Father; two natures, but BOTH are created to glorify and to be glorified through Him by His life in us. And this is why fallen angels can exist. And this is why man who is also fallen exists. Both angels and mortals have free will and they can choose to serve the Father or themselves.

The demons hate the flesh. They hate the angels too, but it is a curiosity that I never figured out until now to understand why they hate the flesh so much if angels are “superior” to us that they should spend so much effort caring about us. If man’s body were not so good as the angels, if it were not so good to be mortal than to be spirit, what is it about the mortal that drives the demons bonkers?

They hate mortals so much they will do everything within their power to desecrate the body, to pervert the body’s normal functions. They love disease and death. The crave to see us sick and broken. They laugh when we are weak in our human flesh, when our bodies break. They especially love sexual pervertedness because they understand that our sexuality is our identity in the flesh, male and female He created us, so gender confusion and gender mutilation is the greatest evil against the human flesh.

This is because we are MORTAL. It is our NATURE. And the very nature of the mortal is not a lesser form of being than that of the angels but rather is EQUAL to that of the angels. Henceforth, the Incarnation is proof in the glory of the earthly body, the mortal, wed to the heavenly realm, that is unified to the life of the Father, is good and meant to co-exist. Thus Jesus rose from the dead BODY and soul. He has TWO NATURES-God and Man. The two natures can and ultimately will co-exist at the final Coming.

Finally, MORTALS, SPIRITS and ANGELS—-this is why the Church Militant, the Church Suffering and the Church Triumphant, are called to the same mission and the same life through our Lord Jesus Christ Who has unified heaven and earth once again. Not one has a greater significance than the other—angel or mortal—they are our equals.

Think of it like this-you could have been born an angel but you were born a mortal. This is not a lesser nature, it’s merely a different nature.

So now when you read to care for the “temple” the body, you can understand this because the body is a holy nature.

On the Holy Angels

People tend to think the angels do not need our help. At least I always felt this way, until recently, when it came to me that angels need our prayers too. Yes they have supreme intellects but they too have free will. Let me take a moment to digress but you will see I have a point—my Shine Club’s mission is intellectual growth but also character development because you can be very intelligent but without moral law, this would only make you a dangerous person. Supreme intellect is not enough to choose to do good and to do what is right by another before your own interests. Charity, which is the foundation of all character growth, seeks to serve the needs of others in light of the intellect’s understanding. But charity is the result of personal growth in moral law and it is this pursuit ever increasing interior grace that leads one to holiness. Thus, and here is my connection, yes angels have supreme intellects but they must also choose charity or else themselves. They too must pursue interior grace by choosing charity or else themselves and it is this choice that even they can fail at; these are the fallen angels, the demons, the evil ones.

The Communion of Saints is this—”Thy Kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven.” It it not one verses the other, or one more inferior than the other, or abolish earthly things. No. it is precisely their onesss with the will of God that brings about this clause that Jesus tells us God desires. This oneness comes with our aid to those in the spiritual realm and from them to those here as mortals.

Do not forget the angels and do not simply resort to them as merely “nice things”. Speak to them and pray for them. Your prayers for them fortify them as their prayers for you fortify you.

On Daily Living

Half my heart is in heaven and half my heart is here.

I can feel it. And it makes it difficult to be present here because my interior life is not here. It is consumed in heaven’s fire. My feet touch the earth, but barely. I am walking but I am not quite here. I feel drawn to Love beyond anything else I’ve ever been drawn to. My Lord’s desires are the only ones I care about. As evil surrounds the earth, I can feel the powers of heaven, mighty and powerful, and I am a part of this force, fighting beside. That is the mission and I see many do not understand this-the Church Militant.

A few weeks ago, I woke during the night because I could feel a bad presence. I woke to see a red demon looking at me. It was floating in the air about 7 feet from my bed. I made the Sign of the Cross and it disappeared.

Have mercy on me, Jesus. I am not fit for You. But I submit myself before You. I am here to serve.

On Trust

Supreme vulnerability of oneself is the ultimate form of confidence, the ultimate form of security, thus "the first shall be last and the last shall be first" (Matthew 20:16) and "the one who wants to save his life will lose it" (Mathew 16:25).

The Vatican—-a building of intimidating appearance. It stands a sight of grandeur and sheer antiquity—the symbol of God’s Authority here on earth and over my own heart. It is a sign of assurance that my faith is firm because I do not and cannot know everything; it is exactly this reason that my faith is real and necessary. This is the crux of my vulnerability. The total surrender of my will and intellect rely on God’s firmness. He is Who He says He is and because of that I do not need to pursue every unturned stone and every dilemma. I do not need to suffer in pain the agony of the Body of Christ. God reigns. God is alive. God is over all the earth. I only need to repeat the words, “I trust in You.” My ultimate confidence is not in not knowing but surrendering what I cannot know to His providence.

It is precisely this that makes Catholicism the greatest point of freedom because insecurity is enslavement to fear. This fear is a fear of loss of personhood, but surrender is where your personhood holds its fullest potential. Your freedom is in your enjoyment to just be a child of God, just enjoying the Abba like a child enjoys her parent. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

God is in control.

On Justice

Justice is not punishment. When people think of God’s justice, they tend to equate it with God simply punishing people. I received this word that “Justice is restorative.” Justice brings things back into its proper order. Order brings function; but disorder yields disfunction. Justice says “I will bring things back into the way they are supposed to function such that there is perfect interaction of the things in existence". Does it hurt to make this happen? Will there be pain? The answer yes; this may feel like punishment. Childbirth is a perfect metaphor here; because people often equate labor with pain itself much like they equate justice with punishment, but the pain of labor is not actually “pain”; it is muscular contractions and hormonal influences on the body and the baby itself in motion with these that are working together to bring forth life. So what is actually healthy normal functions of the body can look like “pain” but it’s actually just “work”, the woman and baby’s body working very very hard (hence the term
”labor”). Justice very much takes on similar exterior attributes—its underpinning of restoration tends to look and feel like punishment.

Where could this perversion of Justice come from? One guess. Concupiscence.

This is also why you cannot have justice without mercy. Because God is Love. all things are taken into consideration upon His creation because He glories in His creation. His glorification is perfected in us when we are totally united in the Cross—this is suffering; the Cross is suffering. Our suffering united in Christ Jesus is like punishment to make us holy and to restore us for the Father’s glory because He will have His bride, pure and spotless, because He is Justice.

Is it enough to be a good person? No.

It is not possible to be a good person apart from God. When people argue that they don’t need to believe on God because they are already “good” people, my response is that this is impossible.

Anything apart from God is not good in of itself. Since we are only reflections of God, only when we unite our actions to God can we reflect goodness as coming from true Charity itself. This is why there is no greater love than he who lays his life down for a fellow man because what does he benefit for himself in dying? Acts of true goodness are rooted in total self-giving. Total self-giving is only possible from God Himself because this is unconditional love. Our very nature itself is only a mere reflection or image of God; we cannot be God Himself. You cannot change the nature of something simply by thinking it is something else. Therefore, mere reflections or images of good are not purely good unless they are united with Goodness itself, that is God. All actions that reflect good are tainted with selfish motivations one way or another, just like a reflection of a table cannot be the table itself, and the reflection is not a perfect image of the table because it is only a reflection. Perfect acts of goodness are only possible rooted in God.

Being a “good” person is not enough to be in union with the objective nature of our existence, that is union with Goodness, union with Charity, union with God. It is not enough to exist just “being a good person”. We most go deeper into Goodness, so that our works are authentic acts of Charity. When Charity is flowing through us, we become lights in the world that accurately reflect Goodness as it really is working in the Body of Christ. So when Jesus says when you served your fellow man, you served Me not because we simply did good works but because our works were united in Christ flowing only from God’s grace. Therefore , that is why it says “Every good and perfect thing is from above. “ (James 1:17) Notice it doesn’t say from within, or from ourselves. True Charity is divine and it is a gift that comes from grace. It is through us not from us that good works are done. Let Charity be your inspiration. Let Goodness in its purest form be your motivation. Seek beyond yourself because you really were meant to be a firework like Katy Perry said, just not from your own lighter.

On the Crucifix

Fire of love, consume me!

The absolute best spiritual exercise you can do is to meditate on the crucifix. Let your heart adore Jesus as the broken Lamb of God, bloodied and wounded, as a sign of the Father’s ultimate love for his beloved children. We are His beloved and this sacrifice is very pleasing to Him because we are His beloved; it is exactly a paradox: something so hideous, so awful; this is LOVE. The suffering Lamb of God is our way to holiness, because it is complete surrender to the Father, everything, surrendered to the Father is the path to holiness. Surrender, surrender, surrender.

On Faith

If I truly believe that Jesus is present body and blood soul and divinity at Holy Mass and I receive Him, wholly God, then I have God. If I have God then I have everything. If I have everything then I lack nothing.  If I lack nothing then I have not to need anything but rather to give for all that I can gain now is souls for Jesus. 

Anything within me unworthy, unfit, imperfect, broken, wounded, perverse, unholy—-anything wanton, it is taken care of in the oneness of the Lord by His holy indwelling through the precious Species for then I am a vessel of His mercy, His charity, His joy, His peace; I am a victim for Holy Mother Church. As long as I surrender my will, there is nothing God cannot accomplish in me, and the reality that I am living in both a natural and supernatural state, both body and spirit, means that I am not even limited by time itself.  In other words, whatever healing and restoration I need, however crappy of a person I am or have been—Jesus said, ”Your faith has saved you.” Therefore if I have faith, I am already at once fully restored. 

My mission then can be on my neighbor and their needs now and it’s in this way that the Church Militant proceeds and can only proceed to exist. This is what it means to pray and not worry. God never denies human inadequacy; in fact, on the contrary, He fully acknowledges it and provides (Like with Jeremiah ad Moses).

And so, we look forward to the “resurrection of the dead”; that those who present themselves as Christians come alive in order to carry out the great commission-to go out and make disciples of all nations. Do not ask then, “How Lord?” But “Where Lord? Where do you send me?”

January 31, 2023

Love Like Fire

I am going to start sharing now my private experiences that the Lord has granted me.

In February this year I was touring a Catholic school for my one son when during the tour I suddenly felt a powerful force of heat like inferred heat ago though my whole body and out just a few feet more into the hallway. It was so powerful my body was shaken by it and I almost fell over because my knees became unstable. It was pure love so intense that it was like a fire burning me up. As I asked the tour guide what was in the room we were in front of and she was speaking I approached the glass door to peer through and she said, “Oh that’s the chapel.” And I could see the tabernacle only a few feet from the doorway. I immediately knelt down and told my boys to do the same and I didn’t want to move but no one else was experiencing this and it took me by surprise. I was out of it for awhile and had to act normal even though my knees were still very weak for several minutes after. My husband still wasn’t Catholic yet and the other woman I was with was a lukewarm Catholic. I emailed the school later on to tell them to put a sign in the hallway expressing that all who pass the chapel ought to genuflect in the hallway because the Real Presence emits itself out into the hallway.

I have passed many tabernacles and never experienced this before but I have always believed in the Real Presence even when I wasn’t a faithful Catholic.

Therefore, humble yourself before the tabernacle and worship there. When you drive by a church also sign yourself and adore Jesus in your thoughts. He is there. And He waits for us to come and receive His love.

Prostrate Yourself and Surrender

Do not hold back from the Holy Spirit. God cannot work with a stiff-necked people. Recall the Israelites in the desert who had to wait for a whole new generation to carry on to the Promised Land, recall the great plagues inflicted upon Pharaoh to show his arrogance and pride that not even the death of his own son who cause him to surrender…recall these stories to reflect upon your own spirit. Do you have a spirit of surrender to the Holy Spirit? Why are you holding back? How dare you hold back from the GOD YOUR GOD? Recall the Baltimore Catechism in the 3 reasons you are here: to know, love and to serve God. You are here for His glory whether you know or not. You are already His. Why hold back? For what can you lose but to gain from the Holy Spirit’s annointing?

The whole Church, no the whole world, loses out because you hold back. Your surrender means the works of the Holy Spirit through you, it means the Kingdom of heaven here on earth through your hands, through your feet. Your surrender is the means by which the work of ministry prevails. Holding back means the loss of prophecy, the loss of healing, the loss of tongues, the loss to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, comfort the sick, comfort the dying, minister to the prisoners, the loss of evangelization, the loss of Christ’s presence here on earth among our brethren and sisters who are desperate for the Good News . How can we make the Kingdom known without our personal surrender to the Holy Spirit?

Therefore PROSTRATE YOURSELF BEFORE THE CRUCIFIX; prostrate before the tabernacle in your own church and do not be ashamed if someone sees you. Do not be ashamed to adore Jesus. Do not be ashamed of your love for Him Who made heaven and earth. Prostrate yourself before Him in total surrender. ARMS OUTSTRETCHED GIVE YOURSELF TO JESUS AND ADORE HIM WITH YOUR TOTAL SURRENDER . For the Lord loves a heart contrite and humble.

To those who are in ministry, remove your pride and let go of your hold unto power for it is asinine to exalt yourself over the movement of the Holy Spirit. Hear the words of St. Peter and imprint them upon your heart:

1 Peter 5:1-6

To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ’s sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve;  not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.